Thursday, May 6, 2010

on sustaining relationships

EVERY relationship has a cycle.

Falling in love isn't hard. In fact, it is a completely natural and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years in the relationship, the euphoria of love fades. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your partner's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy . And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your relationship work.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships.
Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your bond stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can 'make' love .

Love is indeed a 'decision'... Not just a feeling.

'God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.' 

- edited, unknown -

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